Saturday, May 27, 2017

Gentlemen of a Scholar

 So today was my five year old nephews graduation from Preschool. Although it wasn't a college graduation, it certainly felt like one. Cap and gowns, drinks and cake, performance, pictures taken and speeches made it feel as if he was graduating from Spelman . Either way it was a good overwhelming feeling; and i'm sure he felt the same as well. You wouldn't think many people would participate in such an event for young children, because they have so far to go in life. I assure you to me this is one of the most important events because its an stepping stone and the beginning of a child's life. You never know what young children are thinking today and by you being present in such an important event means the world to them; more than you expect.
You hear the old saying when it comes to parents and children, "being present is more important than giving gifts" Children remember who was present in the life than who bought what. This is most certainly true. They never ever forget, and on top of that will certainly point out and remind you. So the evening of his graduation 5.24.17 was memorable because he is a gentlemen of a scholar. My uncle gave him this name because academically he is very studious, very inquisitive young man, very interested in learning anything new and fascinating to him. I'm a proud aunt. He makes me a better person because first off he taught me a lot of patience; something i did lack. My nephew Jordan wants me to always teach him something new and at the same time i'm learning myself, so how great is that.

Of course my other nephew was there watching his big brother move on in life and accomplished greater things; he is next himself. I'm not sure he understood at four years old what what was going on, but he knew it was and important day because the family was together; and for sure knows that his brother left preschool. Kindergarten here comes Jordan; the most smartest, influential and persuasive young man known to live. Yes at five he possess all these qualities, and he knows it smh. I know you will do extraordinary in your future endeavors because your an phenomenal young man and young scholar. Auntie and everyone who loves you want you to continue to reach for the stars! We all should encourage our young people to reach for the stars and to do better than what we did or doing at the moment; because it only gets better!

Friday, March 3, 2017

So long New York...

   No more congested streets of New York City, no more annoying honking horns and polluted air that have me thinking I just got diagnosed with asthma. Right now its all stress free might I add more sunny and fresh open air most mornings. It's not that I don't love New York anymore because its always going to be home away from home but right now in this point in my life I need time to think, relax and enjoy some me time and I feel anywhere out New York at this moment has a lot to offer as far as restoring myself. Time to recuperate and regroup. Your probably wondering where in the world I moved to, well Florida is where I relocated. Palm trees, sunny skies, and more friendly people. Sometimes it reminds me of LA. 
So far I'm enjoying rising without a care in the world, such as not rushing to work anymore or not having enough time to prepare breakfast. How annoying was that? Anyone living in New York can totally related. In reality I'm obsessed with the city, I love New York "Breakfast at Tiffany's" made its mark there; but right now its too cold and too crazy for me. The hustle and bustle of New York drove me away, too competitive in a lot of ways. Just give me New York in the summer, the free concerts, the block parties that officially died out years ago and the convenience of walking to the bodega for an everything bagel toasted with cream cheese. New York is a go-getter atmosphere, the big apple. In terms of getting ahead in life the fast way; and there's nothing wrong with that if you enjoy the rushing, getting bumped into and competitiveness that comes with rejections often. I know it may seem like I'm pointing out the negatives of living in New York but trust me its only because I'm tired of the city. At least right now I am, otherwise New York has a lot of perks that I haven't even taken advantage of.

      A big city, a beautiful city that never sleeps. If you want to go out in the middle of the night to meet with friends, bars will still be open. If you want to give a chance at auditioning for the next colgate commercial, why not give it a shot. If you want to make friends with an homeless person in the subways you have a better shot at that too. I'm just saying there is endless possibilities living in the big city. "If you can make it in New York City you can make it anywhere" the old saying. However, in some cases I don't think that is necessarily true. People adapt to differently, move differently and progress differently in different situations. The city may be too fast for someone where they get left behind and Florida may just be right for them as far as getting ahead in life and more effectively; so far I feel Florida has done good for me. I accomplished more in two months than i did in years living in New York. However, I'm glad I was born and raise in a city that never sleeps, I met good friends there, fell in love with a wonderful man, made mistakes that we all must make as humans, was cast as an extra in a commercial and a movie, partied hard, went to the best block parties in the nineties. I definitely found my mark in the city plus more that I cant even imagine but if you ask anyone that I know I'm sure they can share a story of me. So long New York until next time, you will forever hold a special place in my heart.

Monday, January 23, 2017

How relationships can save your life?

   Relationships is a stepping stone to how you want to be treated and how you treat others. I cant recall how many times a friend save my life with the help of God of course. Although some people perfer to be loners and be in solitude, which I consider myself at times; relationships can certainly teach you how to engage with others and build better versions of themselves. So how can relationships save your life? As a person who suffer mild depression I can say relationships,such as with my family and friends, and even boyfriends have made me a more grounded person. When I had issues with my boyfriends I vent to my girlfriends, they were my escape. They kept me centered as a woman. Having relationships teach you how to balance your life.

   Relationships with family is important as well. They are always your foundation, someone who always have your back. I can only say this to those who have relationships with their family or have a family at all. They will be brutally honest with you and sometimes the truth hurts. My dad is like that as well as my than boyfriend. I would ask their opinion on something  or they will just tell me something I should have done an I would get offended. Although, I know it will benefit me in the long run or make me a better person. You cant do everything on your own, sometimes you need opinions from others, and the help from others to grow as an person. Good criticism is important, its constructive criticism.

   I have a friend, lets just say her name is karrine. She would call me or be somewhere when I was in trouble or in need of help. She always came on time. I known her for about fifteen years now, she really is a good friend. Me and her have a good relationship, where as we don't need to see each other everyday or speak everyday to prove our friendship. When we do see each other its as if we never left each other. Those are the best relationships to have, that's the relationship that save my life whether she knows it or not.  I am not saying being a loner is the worst thing, because like i mention earlier sometimes I like spending my days in solitude.

     There is nothing wrong with solitude. Its the reason that I am alone a lot that saved my relationships as well. How can i explain this? when you spend time alone you learn more about yourself. You are able to think and become one with yourself. Alone time is the best time to me. When you are among people constantly, you will never know who you really are and what you're capable of.
      Once your able to be alone and feel comfortable with yourself you really wont find it necessary to be around people all the time, but when you do surround yourself with others its rejuvenating. A breathe of fresh air. You will know when its time to remove yourself to recharge and come back. That's the best feeling when you are able to be with friends, having the relationships you have and than go back into solitude to recharge. I think that is what you call and ambivert/ introvert. I know many people don't like to identify themselves in that way; but to give an example. There you go.

   I consider myself an introvert most of the times because I do need peace to recharge myself. Even with my relationships with my family and friends, I find I need to go in hiding after awhile to think and processed my thoughts. I honestly get overwhelmed and distracted. To reach my full potential, I need to be alone most of the times. That way when I do surround myself with family and friends they have my attention. Hope I am not going off topic here, but relationships and being alone plays an important role together. So really I guess the topic should be how being alone and relationships can save your life? what do you think? Do you consider yourself and ambivert introvert/extrovert? Do you enjoy being alone majority of the times or do you enjoy the company of others? And have your relationships save your life in anyway, as it did for me?
   Remember relationships are important to have a balanced life, well in my opinion. It brings joy, love sometimes sorrow but most importantly it teaches you the value of life.


Monday, November 14, 2016

Sex, Lies and the Art of Depression

  Depression is a serious mental and emotional disease that can wreck havoc on the body.  Everything is spiraling out of control in an unhealthy way. I suffered from mild depression in my earlier years,as mention in my previous articles. When I was in a sad state of mind it led many lies, I lied to gain sympathy from friends and loved ones. It made me feel better, I wanted to be center of attention. Sex or intimacy with someone was another outlet to numb the pain I was feeling within myself., so how does someone cope with this problem? It wasn't easy nor is it easy for anyone today suffering from depression. Anything can be overcome even with its challenges if one just alter their way of thinking.  Training your mind to think the right way, so your actions follow.

 Reading, praying or what ever it is that you do to develop positive thoughts. This is what a person suffering from depression needs in order to overcome sadness or any type of doubt they feel within themselves.

Abusing your mind, soul and body makes depression worse even if it temporarily makes you feel good.  Having a sound mind, having peace of mind, knowing that everything will work out and that you are important will stir way of confusion and doubt. It will bring light to your life. You won't need approval from anyone, you be so content and confident in yourself. When you come to terms that everyone has flaws and refuse to compare, all your negative thoughts, discouragement and despair will be defeated. YOU can do this!  It takes mental strength and love for your self.

Here is a few reminders to help you overcome depression...

 Taking responsibility that your situation is not good.

 Examine your own problems before anything.

  Know that only you can rescue YOU!

  Understand that self pity will make matters worse.

 Taking responsibility for your actions and your life is crucial in managing depression, because you are taking steps to keeping yourself mentally healthy.   You have examine your own problems and know that only you can help YOU. Come to terms that self pity or sympathy from a love one is actually detrimental to your health, because they only will be enabling you instead of giving tough love.  Remembering that other peoples opinions does not define you. Be happy with yourself, love yourself and be content with what you have going on in your life.

You will never feel alone or not complete. You won't fill the need to resort to sex with someone else. You won't feel empty inside anymore or won't feel the need to lie to make others feel sorry for you. Instead you will fill whole, loved by the universe and have love for yourself most importantly.
Depression can be manage if you look deep within yourself and realize everything will be ok.

Saturday, August 13, 2016


 Midnight Blues

She comes in twelve midnight
with the blues
half drunk and corrupted
yet so confused
She drops on the couch
and pops a Marlbos cigarette
in her mouth
and a cloud of smoke fills the room
Mmmmm... She says to herself
Where's my man?
and here he comes
with his fedora hat, long black jacket
and his cane; fired up as he wanna be
he drops to the floor
and his red wine slowly escapes his hands

They got the blues..both of them
her an her man.

Poetry are emotions in the time being. I wrote this in the year 2000, it makes sense to the person who writes it and for the reader to interpret however you feel.  It's funny to me because when I look back and read I said where did the red wine come from?  and normally red wine is a drink women have. I guess at the moment he had the wine when I was writing and it just flowed that way. I hope this random long awaited blog put a smile on your face today.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Are you earning what you deserve?

So I'm sorry it took me a long time to post a new article. I have been quite busy trying to juggle a lot. I join Avon, so now I'm an Avon representative/ independent consultant. Avon is about empowering woman all over, a community of women all over the world that helps boost our confidence and teaches us financial independence; something I bring up quite often in my blogs. To do something that you enjoy in order to become successful. So I think this maybe a good turn around for me and you as well. You can visit my e store to buy an sell. If you order online on my website your orders will ship directly to your door and greatly appreciated. You can create the life you want as well.

 So Are you earning what you deserve? Many people are working and not completely happy with what they take home. I discussed in "Lead a happy life" post about doing what you love if you are not currently happy. We all know it takes courage and not fear to take that leap of faith to do what makes us happy. The main reason a lot of people are not taking that leap of faith is because of money fears, lack of money to invest or afraid to lose money. They start off not making what they expected, but that takes time and dedication of course.  I read an interesting post called "5 tips to earn more money"  we all like to do what we love at our own leisure. To make that happen it takes time, it won't be an overnight success but it can be done.  Here's how:

Offer value. What I mean by that is offer your best work, the best information you can share that will benefit your clients. Give them solutions to their problems. Initially that's what we all want, to better our current situation. If we offer value and not price in the beginning you are developing a trustworthy clientele. They will continue to come back for more information. Sooner or later you will start earning what you deserve by doing what you love. Everything takes patience, dedication and motivation.

I can't stress enough to do what you love or at least like, to succeed. So many times I did jobs that just didn't make me happy so it became dreadful and literally made me sick. I couldn't take it no more to the point I prefer to be broke and happy than earn a little something at a job that made me unhappy. You can become successful doing something you really enjoy doing. Whether it's making and selling jewelry or art, teaching a dance class, maybe teach a sewing class or design clothes. Whatever it is you are good at you should do and earn what you deserve. Not from some mediocre job that does not pay you for the value you put out.  If you delivering good value and solutions to their problems you should get something back that amounts to your efforts.

Be passionate and really love what you do is very important.  You are motivated to do something you love right? When we are patience and dedicated to all the hard work that's put out, dreams will unfold into something beautiful. Your life will feel uncomplicated and almost effortless. It's almost as if your not working so hard anymore because you are finally doing something you was suppose to do from the beginning.

I hope this post helps you as much as it has helped me. You are my biggest supporters and motivators. A smile a day don't cost a thing if you can help someone else.

Friday, July 15, 2016

Fridays at Barney's

   I mention spending Fridays at Barney's in my coffee talk blog post.  It's my escape from reality, I don't necessarily go to Barney's to shop, I'm more of a  Bloomingdales type of girl plus the prices are a little more affordable on a good day. Spending a day at Barney's is a breathe of fresh air, sitting down in the cafe with an ice coffee and writing is a good thing, even window shopping for rockstyle items. Who said you can't sit in Barney's  and not purchase anything? I wish I can afford $2000.00 pair of shoes. Even If I did, I won't spend it on just shoes, it would be a few items to splurge on. I never use to understand why people would splurge so much on luxury items and it kind of disturb me in a way. As I got older I can now say why not splurge?

You have one life to live and if you can spend thousand of dollars throughout the year on coffee and fine dining, why not invest that money on luxury items, especially if you can sell back in times of an emergency.  That's why it's an investment. You can always buy to sell if you ever need the money. There are so many sites to sell your luxury pieces.  There's Posh, Vinted, Mercari, Tradesy and more. People sell there items back in hopes to purchase another favorite designer.

 Louis plus my Burberry love. Gucci and Chanel luxury brands are iconic and are timeless pieces. If you purchase they will never go out of style, EVER! Not only that but you really are saving money, by investing in luxury items than by purchasing randoms over an over once it falls apart. I learn the hard way, I think I rather be without or with something really worth it. Remember Audrey Hepburn from Breakfast at Tiffany's? Well she is we'll known for carrying a Louis Vuitton speedy bag in 1965.  She look effortless an classy. A simple trench coat and heels with a speedy bag, you can't go wrong. I spent so much money on random no name brands, not saying that these items are a waste of money but I feel that it loses it's shape and the wear an tear happens quickly. Even some name brands like kate spade that I purchase from Nordstrom wore out after two years.  Just two years. It's only smart to purchase a bag that will last forever, but if you like to waste money purchasing items that really has no value be my guest. I know I won't anymore. I just spend my Fridays in Barney's until one day I can afford a good bag. Hopefully before I turn 40 I be able to purchase the ever so famous Chanel bag.

The point is to be tenacious in everything that brings you joy, so that one day you can afford luxury items or to just do what ever makes you happy daily. I'm preaching to myself as well. So Fridays at Barney's can be more than just window shopping.

Ok going totally off topic, but I think I need to start vlogging as well because my blogs feel like a conversation between me myself and I and of course my readers. Leave me any comments below, anything you like or dislike. I take constructive criticism, it's all apart of learning.